The Franklin Canyon Trail Experience

Long Video

Short Video


View Hastain Fire Road Trail in a larger map
Trail Description
DISTANCE 1 to 3 miles out and back time
PARKING Plenty and Varied
SPF 7. Very shady – and we mean shady in the good way.
CHANCE OF INJURY None, unless you’re already injured and your killers drag you up here to dump your body.
WEIRD SMELLS Acne and Turpentine
TIME 30 to 90 minutes
FEATURES Pavement, Bathrooms, Creeky-Bridgey things,
ANIMALS Turtles, Snakes, Koi, Pollywogs, Dead Squirrels
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS The bark on this one tree looked an awful lot like Jesus.
DOG SHIT Spectacular! The largest dog shit baggie I’ve ever seen! A record!… a record of sick.
ANYTHING ELSE?100% wheelchair accessible. A lot of cool stuff for a fully paved path.
If you are near the 101:
Take that to Coldwater Canyon. Take the Coldwater Canyon exit south until you reach Mulholland Drive at the top of the hill. There, you’ll find a 5 way stop. It’s designed to keep you from finding your trail.  Like any good trail area, the entrance is camouflaged to look like just another private road. So take that soft right at Mulholland.  You’ll pass a dozen homes and VOILA – Franklin Canyon. Check the speed limit and stop signs. Those lousy Ranger tickets aren’t fake, you actually have to pay them.
When you get to the Nature Center, don’t stop.  That place is for school field trips and losers. Continue down the one way road as it circles the mini lake/reservoir/ movie set until you cross the earthen dam and hit a stop sign.
Roll up your windows!!!! I believe that nearby a hundred people were killed by a thousand rotten eggs, and the corpses were left unburied.
Turn left continuing around the “water element.” Turn right into the dirt turn out. It’s informal, it has no signs, just freakin’ trust us, this is the best place to park.
If you’re coming from Beverly Hills:
Tell your driver to go up N. Beverly Drive. When  it gets to Coldwater Canyon, tell the driver to stay left on N. Beverly Drive at the kiddie park. Then tell him to go down Lake Drive which is disguised as a dead-end private road and… VOILA – Franklin Canyon.  When you’re at the bottom of the park, don’t even think of turning at the witches house. Continue forward and you’ll wind along the creeky LA stream. When you it the stop sign at the top of the little rise, stop. You are now in One Way territory, and that one way is to your right (just in case your driver
is English).
You’re now driving around the round water thingy and when you see the dirt turn out to your right, say “Jeeves! Pull Over!  Pull over or I’ll yank your green card you ungrateful limey!”
Okay, we get it.  It’s not a true “trail” in that it’s a series of trails. And most of them don’t have names. And some are really “paths.” And… Hey! Trust us. We’ve never met so we’ve never lied to you before.
Walk down the paved road against traffic.  You’ll see 3, 4 cars tops.  When you hit the intersection there is a legitimate trail head.  This is the Ranch Trail. It rolls up the hill and back down to the road.  There is a short  cut, and a long cut.  Take the long cut.  It’s partially shaded, not too steep… it’s nice.
When you’re back on the road you should be at a bridge that crosses the creeky/stream, right across from the witches house.  If the road wasn’t paved, you’d expect to see trolls and fairies and maybe even Shrek himself.  It’s that quaint.
But it is paved, and that makes it easier to walk down.  The creeky/stream has tadpoles and turtle ponds and koi ponds and skeeter bugs and mermaid salamanders… okay, I’m making up names – but it’s a nice creek.
When you get down to the Hastain trailhead, you are not going to want to do that.  It’s a hot, dirty fire road.  You want more shade. Continue down the paved road and look for the Discovery Trail and it’s brothers and sisters.  There are a number of short, shaded side trails that never stray too far from the comfort of your paved road.
When you get to the end, use the bathroom facilities and hoof it back to your car.  Not bad.  Not bad at all.

 The powerful AARP defeated their sworn enemies Old Persons of America in a pitched Bocce Ball tournament here at Franklin Canyon.  The Old Persons of America were forced to then dig all of these trails, and their own graves.