Mt. Hollywood

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Map

Trail Description
DISTANCE 3.5 miles
ELEVATION GAIN 1,000 ft.
PARKING Plenty during the week - and if there's not a show at the Greek. It gets crazy, Willie Nelson's 9 tour buses will show up 5 days early and hog all the spaces. Happens all the time.
SPF Don't bother. Make an appointment for skin grafts before you go.
CHANCE OF INJURY 12%.
WEIRD SMELLS Burning forehead skin.
TIME 2-3 hours.
FEATURES Water fountain, picnic tables, bridge, dirt and people.
ANIMALS Exploding lizards and predatory goats.
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Pieces of Steven Spielberg's dead editor.
DOG SHIT Intermitent.br> ANYTHING ELSE? Views of air pollution. Mouthfuls of air pollution.
Directions
Driving Directions
Hide your electronics, we're going to be parking in Griffith Park. Drive on the 5 like you're going to the zoo, BUT DON'T GO TO THE ZOO! The monkey uprising is coming - stay vigilant. Now, get off on Los Feliz Blvd and head west. A couple miles and you'll turn right on Hillhurst Ave. I know it seems prematurely residential, but there is a Greek Theater sign. It's like you're going to the Greek. Hillhurst turns into Vermont. You pass The Greek on the left and the trail starts on the right.
Hiking Directions
Almost directly across the street from the Greek Theater begins the trail. Lots of little trails split off to the left and right, but stay on the fire road until it hits the paved (no cars allowed) road at the top of a ridge. Turn hard left before the old green shack and continue up to the small bridge. You can turn right here to hit Glendale Peak, (super short. why not) then head up the steep sunny hillside to Dante's Peak. It will have a water fountain, shade, and picnic tables. Now go on, head up to Mt. Hollywood, I know you want to. Are you finished? When you're done with that, head back down here and take the western fork towards Griffith Observatory. You'll hit a 6 way intersection. From here you can see Vermont Ave and maybe even your car. Take the most downhill trail you can which will start towards Griffith Observatory and swing to the left. Viola, your car.
The Story
The Hollywood Sign used to be on the highest peak in America. Sir Edmund Hillary declared The Hollywood Sign "Unclimbable!" Then all the short rich dudes with tiny wieners started building bigger mountains to impress their mistresses. First it was Mr. Whitney, then Mr. Wilson, then Mr. Himmalaya and Mr. Everest. And so on and so on until the great Mountain Building Rush ended in 1954. A young Johnny Hollywood took his haberdashery fortune and built up Mt. Hollywood in 1949 for Susan Hayward, but everyone knew that she loved opium more than she loved Johnny.