Rustic Canyon/ Murphy Ranch

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Trail Description
DISTANCE 4 Mile round trip
ELEVATION Negative 500 feet (cause it's down, get it?)
PARKING Lots of neighborhood street parking, but check the signage.
SPF 30. Some shade in the canyon, but there's a lot of sun on the way there.
CHANCE OF INJURY Sore calves and ass muscles from all those stairs.
WEIRD SMELLS Calf and ass sweat.
TIME 2 hours unless you get attacked by bees. then, 20 minutes.
FEATURES Nazi shacks, taggers, booby traps, 1 million stairs .
ANIMALS Bee/ Mountain Lion hybrid
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Jillian Michaels and Iggy Azalia impersonators.
DOG SHIT Less than you'd think, more than you'd want.
ANYTHING ELSE? Best use of graffiti since the Berlin Wall.
Imagine friends are in town and they want to see where O.J. killed Nicole.  That's the direction we're going.  Drive on the 405 until you smell a terrible football team.  That's the UCLA Bruins.  Sunset Blvd is a couple exits north of the 10 freeway.  Take Sunset west towards the beach.  It's kinda fast and windy but you shouldn't throw up too much.  Keep your eye out for a stoplight at Capri Road. Turn right into the rich man's neighborhood. Don't be deterred, you helped pay for his road. Con .
The end of the road turns to dirt and looks like a construction site...that's who you know you're at the beginning. Officially you are on The Sullivan Canyon Fireroad and you are above Rustic Canyon... but only for a couple miles. If you're wearing yoga pants right now, you're pretty happy. You're on a semi-paved road, pretty level, not that "trail-ey." If you're wearing boots and a backpack, this is boring and will be over soon.
Keep your eyes to the left, there are 3 series of workout steps and a dirt trail that head down to the canyon floor - listen for the roar of the rapids below... ah, just shittin ya. If you're lucky there's a trickle of water, unless it just rained, in which case, there may be a maniacal flood. When you're on the bottom of the valley, just explore around. There are lots of dangerous buildings and concrete pits and abandoned transient campsites... but in a good way.
Climb any stairs or trail uphill back to Sullivan Canyon and back to your car.
Legend has it that these old, crappy cabins we're built by Nazi sympathizers to prepare for "Uncle Adolph's" eventual victory. But Legends are 95% bullshit. These cabins were actually built by a 7 year old "Little Donny" Trump. He took his $100,000 birthday check and tried to build a Boyscout camp where he could inappropriately touch Girlscouts. Since Little Donny hung out at the same Club for Creepy Shit-heads, as the Nazis, he hired them to build his fort. They just built his cabins and took them from Donny - and that's how Donald Trump learned to be a bully that just take shit... and how to hate jews.