Morrison Cave/ Corral Canyon

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Trail Description
DISTANCE One hop, one skip, and one jump. That is less than a mile.
ELEVATION 100 feet. Unless you're stoned. Then it's "So Freaking Hiiiiiiiiiiigh..."
PARKING Not great "pulling off the side of the road in the dirt" parking.
SPF50 until the cave, then 0.
CHANCE OF INJURY Spelunking while stoned may lead to faceplanting and rockrash.
WEIRD SMELLS Patchouli and old hippie.
TIME 30 minutes. Add additional 30 minutes for each bong hit.
FEATURES Rocks and Caves and signs saying "stay away from the rocks and caves".
ANIMALS Snakes with the munchies.
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Cheech and Chong and Garret Morris.
DOG SHIT Not much.
ANYTHING ELSE? It is totally illegal to go in this cave. So don't do it. (whatamI your mom? Do what you want)
Directions
Go to the ocean just like you do when it's so hot outside you are no longer body conscious. Take PCH up towards Malibu and after you pass the Pepperdine University grass that says, "FU to water conservation" you will hit Corral Canyon Road at the 76 station and then turn right there. Right away there is Solidad Canyon and it's packed with losers, so drive passed that. Wind back and forth for 12 minutes up, up, uphill until you see the yellow pipe gate that is the beginning of all LA trails. And don't be afraid of the "Red Flag Warning" signs. "No Parking" and "Check Conditions" signs are everywhere but that's to scare away babies... babies who can drive and read, but babies nonetheless.
 
HIKING DIRECTIONS:

No sign will say "The Jim Morrison Cave" it's Corral Canyon Cave and they don't want you to go in there. So follow the signs that say "Don't Go Here". You hike maybe 1/2 mile up a well groomed fire road and see a 3 peaked rock to your left. Just before that is a non-descript rock that is only distinguishable by the signs saying "don't come in here." So go that way and walk around to the back side of that rock. Bingo. Jim Morrison's cave. Now smoke your weed. Play your Doors music. And then go home.
THE STORY:

When the alien ship dropped Jim Morrison off on earth they said, "Just do what you can to get chicks and then tell us what earth girls are like." So alien Jim Morrison started in this cave writing poems and quickly realized that "everybody hates poetry, but put on leather pants and get a band... rock. god." In the 60's this cave was an active transporter to the main alien ship. Aliens would come down to party and Farrah Fawcett would go up and sign posters. All until the Scientologists showed up and ruined everything with their weird vibe.