Malibu Creek State Park

Long Video

Short Video


Trail Description
DISTANCE 5 miles
ELEVATION GAIN by the time you're done… zero
SPF Mostly 500, Occasionally 2.
CHANCE OF INJURY Depends, how are your breaks?
WEIRD SMELLS Waylon Goggins & mud snails.
TIME 2:12:34
FEATURES Potted plants, cliff diving, rock diving, Pathetic remnants of M.A.S.H.
ANIMALS Hawk. Falcon. Lizard. Production Assistant. Film Crew.
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Waylon Goggins soaking wet and fully clothed.
ANYTHING ELSE? New Zealand Mud Snails
Driving Directions
So you're on the 101 trying to get the hell out of town. West towards the beaches. After civilization ends - Calabasas - you'll take the Las Virgenes Road exit towards the beach. If you hate your money and have 2 Teslas in your garage, drive past the Mullhollond Hwy intersection and take the first right into the official Malibu Creek State Park parking lot and throw $12 at Ranger Smith. If you like money and are driving a 2004 PT Cruiser, turn right on Mullholland and park at the chain link fence.
Hiking Directions
We're starting at the Mullholland entrance. About 1/4 mile to the main fire road and turn right. If we were in Seattle there would be a big lagoon and a little river all along the trail. Instead, yo'll see a dusty gulch filed with rocks. A mile up"stream" you'll see a bridge over "the rock river" that goes to the nature center. Follow the small trail along "dirt creek" and you'll see an excellent rock climbing wall (I think. I don't climb rocks). And a little further up is the swimming hole. I't s not a mirage. Now go back to the fire road and it's a short hike to the reservoir. Form there, it's under a mile to the under-whelmeing M.A.S.H. TV show set. Don't worry, you won't do that gain. The reservoir is as far as you really need to go.
The Story
The very last of the monster 30 foot ants was killed in this valley in 2000 BC. Back then, it was actually a large mountain but the monster ant's acidic, mountain dissolving blood, carved this gorge. The TV show M.A.S.H. is an acronym for Monster Ant Slain Here. I know… some poignant shit.