Dixie Canyon Trail

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Trail Description
PARKING Skinny Street Parking
SPF 0. All shade.
CHANCE OF INJURY Probably. Especially for the blind.
WEIRD SMELLS Freshly cut construction lumber, sulfur, and BMWs.
TIME 45 Minutes
FEATURES Creek (one), View (one), Bridges (occasional), Rope (1/2)
ANIMALS Dead Rabbit, Live Rabbit, & Schrodinger’s Rabbit
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Alec Baldwin’s Tennis coach’s nephew.
DOG SHIT Zero! No shit!.
ANYTHING ELSE? Springtime rafting and flash-flood viewing opportunities.
Quit whining and get to the 101 and two exits east of the 405 take the Woodman Drive exit. Do not, I repeat, do not, go to the mall. Go south to Ventura Blvd. and turn left.
Dixie Canyon Blvd does have a light, but it’s not huge. Turn right on Dixie Canyon Blvd. You’ll see a Menchie’s Yogurt shop there. You can go there AFTER your hike. First, you gotta earn it. Dixie Canyon becomes one of those annoyingly skinny/ Hollywood Hills/ one-way streets, but not for long. Watch for Dixie Canyon Place. Take that, and it dead ends into the trailhead. Now look around, and you’ll probably have to back up a dozen houses to find an open spot on the street.
As you’re walking up the street from your car there’s a river of water running down the road, as though some rich jack-ass is running his hose just to keep the inside of it from drying out. But it’s actually a natural spring. The trailhead looks like it was a WPA project. (For you kids, that means old guys used lots of rock and cement and made something that looks good and lasts forever… and they didn’t freakin’ whine about it!) You cross the little spring a few times on three completely unnecessary bridges and then you loop around on a single track trail. It seems like decent rain would wash away big chunks of this little trail. As of now, it remains. Short and sweet. If you’re hoping to run into someone who can help your career, don’t hold your breath. Unless you’re practicing for a career in breath-holding.

A strange race of midget Dutch dam builders escaped the persecution of the Norwegian King, Tor “Steps On Midgets” Heldsfahring.  They lived in this gully for 200 years until they were wiped out in The Slight Drizzle of 1892.