Cave of Munitz

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Trail Description
DISTANCE 2 Mile round trip
ELEVATION To the cave 0 feet. To the peak... hundreds of feet.
PARKING Plenty on the street.
SPF 30 if you stay in the creek bed. 100 if you're an idiot.
CHANCE OF INJURY Cave - low. Cliff cables above the cave - infinity.
WEIRD SMELLS Honey and coyote poop.
TIME 1 hour cave hike. 3 hours for the ridgeline... if you live!
FEATURES Sexual suggestiveness, double entendres, euphemisms, bad puns... oh right, and a cave.
ANIMALS Snakes (but only boy snakes)
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Johnny Holmes and Ron Jeremy.
DOG SHIT Dogs eaten by coyotes before they have a chance to shit.
ANYTHING ELSE? Giant rock monster disguised as a mountain.
Directions
Get on the 101 like you're driving to sexy weekend getaway in Santa Barbara, or to your uncle's house in Newberry Park for another drunken Thanksgiving. After Topanga Canyon and before you escape the San Fernanado Valley Urban Hellscape, exit on Valley Circle Blvd and head north. A few miles of stucco development, and you'll hit Vanowen Blvd. Turn left and you'll almost immediately see the trail head on your left. Park along the street right there.
 
HIKING DIRECTIONS:

The area is called "El Scorpion Park" on the sign, but they don't want you to know about the cave. You're in the right place. You could take that wide, dusty fire road for about a mile to the large turn-around tree, but off to your right is the creek bed. Don't worry, it's LA, there hasn't been water in there for decades. But it's shady and nicer so walk along there instead of the fire road. That will veer left at the tun-around tree and you'll see an obvious trail to the right that heads slightly uphill to the cave. It's only a couple hundred yards, so you'll see the cave from there. Hike to the cave. Boom. You're in a cave. Done.
You could be way more adventurous and, instead of that fire road, turn right and scramble straight up the side of the giant peak right at the beginning of the trail. It's steep so leave your children and grandparents in the shade at the bottom - they will die. The view from the top is pretty great, especially if you like looking at Spanish tile roofing. From there, follow the trail along the ridge line until you see a grassy glade to your left. A couple of trails split off here, but stay to the left and you'll see a notch in the rocks. A trail heads through the notch and drops almost straight down to the top of the cave. I'm not shitting you, this is freaking dicey. There are cables bolted into the rock. If you've been tossing back a couple of Coors silver bullets to beat the heat, you could easily end up paying search and rescue a lot of money to chopper your corpse off the side of this hill. I guess I'm just saying... Have Fun!
THE STORY: