Amir’s Garden Trail
View Amir's Garden Trail in a larger map
DISTANCE 1 or 2 miles
ELEVATION GAIN 302 feet exactly
PARKING free and plentiful but a lot a creepy "lunch time sleepers"
CHANCE OF INJURY Low, unless you do the loop, then, high
WEIRD SMELLS Boys, a camp, and a boy’s camp
TIME 30 to 90 minutes
FEATURES Water towers, nails in rocks, miles of irrigation
ANIMALS woodpeckers, rabbit peckers, fire-ant peckers, and bee peckers
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS Either Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or the valet at PF Chang’s
DOG SHIT Crap Gumbo. If it shits, it shits on this trail
ANYTHING ELSE? Worst Eagle Scout project ever, and a troll that lives in a drain pipe
Drive back and forth along the 101 until you find Laurel Canyon. Take that south towards Hollywood. When you reach Mulholland Drive at the top of the hill, turn left. If you are a resident of The Valley, you will have to provide the appropriate paperwork to be allowed over the hill, but you’re used to that. If you’re not from The Valley, then get your spoiled hipster butt up the other side of Laurel Canyon and at Mulholland, turn right. The second little street to your right is Briar Summit Drive. It comes up fast and the sign is small so don’t screw this up. Mulholland traffic gods aren’t going to be happy if you try and make a U-turn. Once you’re on Briar Summit Drive, wind and wiggle all the way to the top where you dead end into the trail head. You can almost park in the middle of the street. There are no signs, and nobody goes here.
Nobody goes here because most people are crybabies. “I want shade! I want a dirt path! I don’t like razor wire!” I mean this trail is easy. You walk up the asphalt road until you hit a locked fence. You turn around and come down. Done. Under 45 minutes. This trail does have some great things. If you like(d) your grandparents, this trail has lots of structures that were built back when they were kids. Plus, there are a lot of locked gates along the way. I’m sure it has something to do with the old X-files tv show, and the fact that reruns of that show are locked up along the trail somewhere. Also, if you’re working the glutes and the quads for a hot legs contest somewhere (just cc us on the location of the contest) this trail is a great uphill workout - downhill cool down trail. And honestly, a couple of uniquely great views. Do it once. C’mon. Please…
Originally a thousand feet higher, Briar Summit was used by Conquistadors as an outpost against marauding Eskimos. They had a gigantic sling shot attached to the peak, but it was destroyed by the legendary “Dirt Fire of 17881.” A fire so hot, it burned dirt.