Ahmanson Ranch Trail
Trail Description
DISTANCE 3.5 Miles round trip.
ELEVATION GAIN 300 ft - but baby feet.
PARKING $3 - or free, extremely loud & incredibly close, street parking.
SPF infinity
CHANCE OF INJURY Slight chance of "A Hangin' ".
WEIRD SMELLS Civil victory, gluten.
TIME 1.5 - 2 hours.
FEATURES Sun drenched views, sun soaked fields, sun dried frogs.
ANIMALS Diseased coyotes, cartoon groundhogs, prehistoric hawks.
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS William DeFoe on a bike.
DOG SHIT If dogs are really horses or unicorns - plenty.
ANYTHING ELSE? Not suitable for off-leash cat hiking.
DISTANCE 3.5 Miles round trip.
ELEVATION GAIN 300 ft - but baby feet.
PARKING $3 - or free, extremely loud & incredibly close, street parking.
SPF infinity
CHANCE OF INJURY Slight chance of "A Hangin' ".
WEIRD SMELLS Civil victory, gluten.
TIME 1.5 - 2 hours.
FEATURES Sun drenched views, sun soaked fields, sun dried frogs.
ANIMALS Diseased coyotes, cartoon groundhogs, prehistoric hawks.
CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS William DeFoe on a bike.
DOG SHIT If dogs are really horses or unicorns - plenty.
ANYTHING ELSE? Not suitable for off-leash cat hiking.
Directions
Driving Directions
If you have no idea where West Hills is, then that just makes you a reasonable person with a life. You people who know West Hills? Notoriously unreasonable and… no life.
So normal people, follow me west on the 101 freeway. Past the 405 about 15 minutes until Valley Circle Blvd. Turn right and go north. Another few miles along a “built in the 80’s Orange County vibe” street and you’ll turn left on Victory Blvd. That quickly dead ends and there you are.
Hiking Directions
First, put on some sunscreen, I’ll wait. Okay, the main trail meanders downhill. You can meander for miles and miles if you wish and turn around and come back. The locals seem to prefer jogging that route.
But let’s take a hard left that meanders uphill for the only semi-strenuous 200 yards of trail. Now you have great views and you are welcome. Soon you’ll come to a ‘Y’ and you can go left or right around the mesa, it doesn’t matter because the ‘Y’ reconnects in a quarter mile and you are on you way downhill.
Within less than a hundred yards, there will be a tricky liars trail to the left that stays along the ridge-top but that will dead end, and I’m sure Trolls and Lizard people are there to eat you. Take the downhill trail to the right and you will find the bottom of the canyon where you will meet up with the main trail again. Turn right and you will gently meander back to your car.
The Story
On this site the great Stucco/Concrete War of 1982 - the building materials war to end all building materials wars - was fought. General Bellisimo Von Stucco had his troops at the top of the hill in the now famous Fish Hook formation. General Jeremiah Del Concrete led his men across the valley floor to it's fateful demise in the legendary Oak Grove. You can still find trowels and stucco netting if you sneak into the park at night with a metal detector.
Driving Directions
If you have no idea where West Hills is, then that just makes you a reasonable person with a life. You people who know West Hills? Notoriously unreasonable and… no life.
So normal people, follow me west on the 101 freeway. Past the 405 about 15 minutes until Valley Circle Blvd. Turn right and go north. Another few miles along a “built in the 80’s Orange County vibe” street and you’ll turn left on Victory Blvd. That quickly dead ends and there you are.
Hiking Directions
First, put on some sunscreen, I’ll wait. Okay, the main trail meanders downhill. You can meander for miles and miles if you wish and turn around and come back. The locals seem to prefer jogging that route.
But let’s take a hard left that meanders uphill for the only semi-strenuous 200 yards of trail. Now you have great views and you are welcome. Soon you’ll come to a ‘Y’ and you can go left or right around the mesa, it doesn’t matter because the ‘Y’ reconnects in a quarter mile and you are on you way downhill.
Within less than a hundred yards, there will be a tricky liars trail to the left that stays along the ridge-top but that will dead end, and I’m sure Trolls and Lizard people are there to eat you. Take the downhill trail to the right and you will find the bottom of the canyon where you will meet up with the main trail again. Turn right and you will gently meander back to your car.
The Story
On this site the great Stucco/Concrete War of 1982 - the building materials war to end all building materials wars - was fought. General Bellisimo Von Stucco had his troops at the top of the hill in the now famous Fish Hook formation. General Jeremiah Del Concrete led his men across the valley floor to it's fateful demise in the legendary Oak Grove. You can still find trowels and stucco netting if you sneak into the park at night with a metal detector.
Once again, you have not out-done yourselves!